You wish you woke up to some eggnog, hot breakfast and a gorgeous woman?

I know it’s Christmas and you probably don’t want to get out of the bed but I HAVE to tell you about this crazy little guy who showed up at my door this morning.

He was short, about 4 feet tall.

He also had weird shoes that curled at the toe.

And even more weird, he had pointy ears.

I asked him who he was and he said he was a messenger from Santa!

Apparently, Santa is feeling much younger and a lot hornier these days, and he’s concerned about his sex life now.

He is worried that Mrs. Clause can no longer satisfy him and doesn’t want to have blue balls while carrying presents to kids due to his lack of sex.

So he wanted my advice.

Can you believe that?

So here’s what I told this messenger to tell Santa:

1. Start flirting with the women who chimney he goes down!

I told the messenger to tell Santa to get those elves to start bringing him a list of hot beautiful single women that meet the qualities that he would like in his profound young lover.

2. Don’t try to bribe them with gifts, but seduce them with confidence!

When going down chimneys and seeing that she is sound asleep, wake her up!

And instead, of coming off as a rapist, have a conservation with her, get her laughing, start flirting while slightly touching her thighs and soft kisses on her neck.

And instead of leaving when things start to get sexual, make a passionate move on her. (she’s already dressed in erotic lingerie)

If he needs a guide to show him how to exactly pull this off, he should check out my Dating Wisdom Newsletter.

3. Start mastering the art of getting women interested and attractive to you on the same night

He doesn’t have to huff and puff and sweat and strain for hours, he can bang her out for about 10-30 minutes instead, that’s fine. (he has a lot of houses to go too)

I said to tell Santa this is NOT based on false theories or unproven methods.

It’s based on using my real experiences with women and was developed to help other  men like you who is totally lost, hopeless and baffle by failure to finally get better at communication, attracting and having more success.

4. Connect with her on a deeper level that no man has ever reached!

In other words…

Instead of hiding behind a computer and paying escorts to give you a blowjob and quickies in your sled while the reindeer watch.

I told the messenger to tell Santa to stop acting like some 40 year old virgin who never felt a woman’s vagina before and find the girl he likes, talk and flirt with her, get invited through her front door and get laid.

5. Lay off 90% of the porn.

Let’s face it.

All that porn is just going to give you carpal tunnel.

And by having a young girlfriend his sex life is fun again, he’ll also feel more energetic, too, because he’ll be forced to empty his balls at least 3 times a week.

Anyway, so that’s that.

This is the guide I have for Santa.

Subscribe here to get ‘Michael’s Dating Wisdom’ daily in your inbox!

We’ll see if he listens in 2017.

Have a GREAT holiday season.

Michael Thompson
Dating Consultant