Heya!
I know it’s Christmas night and you probably want to go to bed (I do too!) but I HAVE to tell you about this crazy little guy who showed up at my door tonight.
He was short, about 4 feet tall.
He also had weird shoes that curled at the toe.
And even more weird, he had pointy ears.
I asked him who he was and he said he was a messenger from Santa! Apparently, Santa is feeling younger and hornier, and he’s concerned about his sex life now.
He is worried that Mrs. Clause can no longer satisfy him and doesn’t want to have blue balls while carrying presents to kids due to his lack of sex.
So he wanted my advice.
Can you believe that?
So here’s what I told this messenger to tell Santa:
1. Start flirting with the women who chimney he goes down!
I told the messenger to tell Santa to get those elves to start bringing him a list of hot beautiful single women that meet the qualities that he would like in his young lover.
2. Don’t try to bride them with gifts, but seduce them with confidence!
When going down chimneys and seeing that she is sound asleep, wake her up! And instead, of coming off as a rapist, have a conservation with her, get her laughing, start flirting with slight touches on her thighs and soft kisses on her neck.
And instead of leaving when things start to get sexual, make your move on her.
5, 15, or 30 minutes would be fine, too.
If he needs advice, he should check out The Master Seducer System.
3. Start mastering the art of getting laid on the same night
He doesn’t have to huff and puff and sweat and strain for hours, he can bang her out for about 10-30 minutes instead, that’s fine.
I said to tell Santa this is NOT based on false theories.
It’s based on using his real experience with women and was developed by a 40 year old, balding, pasty, waifish engineer who was totally lost and hopeless with women.
4. Connect with her on a deeper level that no man has ever reached!
In other words…
Instead of hiding behind a computer and paying escorts to give you blowjobs and quickies in your sled while the reindeers watch, I told the messenger to tell Santa to stop acting like some 40 year old virgin who never felt a woman’s vagina before and find the girl he likes, flirt with her, get invited through her front door and get laid.
5. Lay off 90% of the porn.
Let’s face it.
All that porn is just going to give you carpal tunnel.
And by having a young girlfriend his sex life is fun again, he’ll also feel more energetic, too, because he’ll be forced to empty his balls at least 3 times a week.
Anyway, so that’s that.
This is the plan I have for Santa.
You need to sign up for Michael’s Dating Wisdom Newsletter here:
http://SeductiveBrother.com/Signup
We’ll see if he listens in 2017.
Have a GREAT holiday season.
I’ll see you soon! 🙂
Michael Thompson